an old journal entry.

i think in some wierd way everything we go through completely moulds and determines who we are and who we become. does that make sense? does anything? hours roll into days and days roll into weeks and weeks roll into months and before we realize life has passed us by like towns on a highway. countless moments and memories turn into lifetimes until we are catapulted onto our death-beds where we question the very notion of our existence. i should have done this or that, why did I do something and forget to do something else. it’s these questions that keep us alive and yet, it seems, simultaneously go to sleep with our souls when we die. how do we prevent the inevitable and ensure that we are fulfilled, loved and satisfied, no, more than satisfied, deliriously happy with life and all of its beauties and opportunities. we live for now, we dream, we revel in joys, excitement, love and even disappointments. For it is these that eventually form one ever-changing, miraculous and challenging thing. the thing that is life. and so I ask myself what I can do to suck every last drop from this lifetime? i want to be fearless in the face of change, optimistic when things seem completely screwed up and ultimately happy. afterall am i not the captain of my ship, the master of my destiny...?